Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Shame - the story of my life.
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