why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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