Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
