I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
