cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
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That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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