nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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