I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This can only be settled by a dance off.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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