At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
