Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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