I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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