We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
