I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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