Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He has the fingertips of a God
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