we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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