Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
