I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
