the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
