is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
