Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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