Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
