ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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