I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
