it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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