God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
