You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
