i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
