i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
