Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
