Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
