Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize