I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
