her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
