woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
