yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
