I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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