Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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