Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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