Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
