I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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