Everything about him screamed your future.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
