glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
