u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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