Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
