oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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