I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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