Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
