i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
