somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
