you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
