my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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