If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
