At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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