Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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