remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize