Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
