The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
