i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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