He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
