Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
