My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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