Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
