"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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