Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
