So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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