I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
my poor anus
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