So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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