dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
