Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
