Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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