If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
